The beginning of the school year has been good but crazy to say the least. My goal was to post something once a month, but life seems to get into the way a lot anymore. So, today will be a three for one on revising for students' essay.
Miss, how do I add more detail and information?
Have mercy, if I had a dime for every time I have been asked this question from the subtitle! The problem is that students think their writing is perfect the first time, so, in their opinion, it's a one and done situation. Not so much is an understatement. The problem, however, still remains, how do you teach the kids to expand their writing with relevant details and information without rambling in circles? Question Pop, folks! 1--The kids write the following questions across the top of their rough draft: Who?, What?, Where?, When?, Why?, and How?. 2--They are reviewing their essay from the perspective of a reader. 3--Read the essay a sentence at a time. 4--Where there is an unanswered question, write the question (see above) along with any other small clarifying words needed. 5--Answer the question to add the needed detail. That is it. Sentence-by-sentence check for holes, write the question, and answer it--abracadabra--effective details and information has been added where it is needed. |
Miss, I'm saying the same words all the time! How do i change it?
The repetition. The repeating. Oh, the same words, words, WORDS!! Any one working with student writers knows that needless repetition is one of the largest hurdles we have.
When it comes to revising, the kids will start out replacing the words one at a time then slowly fizzle out because the task of going from essay to thesaurus multiple time is exhausting in their minds due to the amount of time used to replace one word. Synonym Sort does all the work at once.
1--The kids draw the basic chart.
2--They skim the essay looking for repeating words.
3--The kids write the repeating word in one of the boxes and move on to identify the next one.
4--They can have as many boxes as they feel they need. The most repeated words usual come from the topic and their reasons.
5--Now, they go to the thesaurus and look up the words one at a time.
6--Once the repeating word is located, the begin to generate a possible list of replacements while asking themselves: 1) Does this fit with my voice?, 2) Do I understand the meaning of the word?, 3) Will the word fit within the context of my essay's topic and/or reasons?
7--They repeat the list generation for each of the repetitive words they have selected.
8--The kids go sentence by sentence replacing the repeating words with one or more synonyms that fit context and voice.
I do have an elementary school variation of this in the file below. For elementary, things need to be done in a little bit of a different fashion. The document contains three pages of their most repeated words at this grade level.
First Time
1--Work with students on using the thesaurus and selecting words they would use to maintain their voice.
2--Repeat the modeling at least two or three more times.
3--Then have the kids work as tables to complete two or three boxes, and then complete boxes in dependently the first time.
Second and Third Time
1--Team Table races for each box.
2--Individuals at the tables race against each other.
3--Team board races
4--Give the kids cards that include the word to be replaced in one color and possible synonyms for those words in a different color. have the students sort the synonyms to the repeating word it best matches.
When it comes to revising, the kids will start out replacing the words one at a time then slowly fizzle out because the task of going from essay to thesaurus multiple time is exhausting in their minds due to the amount of time used to replace one word. Synonym Sort does all the work at once.
1--The kids draw the basic chart.
2--They skim the essay looking for repeating words.
3--The kids write the repeating word in one of the boxes and move on to identify the next one.
4--They can have as many boxes as they feel they need. The most repeated words usual come from the topic and their reasons.
5--Now, they go to the thesaurus and look up the words one at a time.
6--Once the repeating word is located, the begin to generate a possible list of replacements while asking themselves: 1) Does this fit with my voice?, 2) Do I understand the meaning of the word?, 3) Will the word fit within the context of my essay's topic and/or reasons?
7--They repeat the list generation for each of the repetitive words they have selected.
8--The kids go sentence by sentence replacing the repeating words with one or more synonyms that fit context and voice.
I do have an elementary school variation of this in the file below. For elementary, things need to be done in a little bit of a different fashion. The document contains three pages of their most repeated words at this grade level.
First Time
1--Work with students on using the thesaurus and selecting words they would use to maintain their voice.
2--Repeat the modeling at least two or three more times.
3--Then have the kids work as tables to complete two or three boxes, and then complete boxes in dependently the first time.
Second and Third Time
1--Team Table races for each box.
2--Individuals at the tables race against each other.
3--Team board races
4--Give the kids cards that include the word to be replaced in one color and possible synonyms for those words in a different color. have the students sort the synonyms to the repeating word it best matches.
Elementary Synonym Sort |
Who is you? What is it?
This should be dubbed the controlling question of all the universe--okay the English classroom universe. When students write expository, they, without fail,n use "you" in all the different forms as well as "it" prolifically through their essays like a beautiful garden infested with weeds. For the love of all things holy and my personal sanity, WHO IS YOU and WHAT IS IT!?!?
These two questions need to be taken one at a time, or the kids will get overwhelmed with the level of revising that will have to be completed and just quit.
1--Circle every time it is used in the paper.
2--Going sentence by sentence, read and look for the antecedent for it.
3--If the antecedent is THERE, move on because the use of that it will be okay.
4--If the antecedent is NOT THERE, ask the question, "What is it?"
5--Replace it with the answer to your question, and move on to the next.
Now for getting rid of you--you see what I did there. Often times, kids can not get their ideas down on paper without using you. When rough drafting, LET THEM! The purpose of the rough draft is to dump the ideas, examples, and/or evidence from the outline into paragraph form. If the kids start trying to write that rough draft without using you, they will get bogged down in the quagmire of diction and never escape.
To model how to revise to discard you, ask for student rough drafts to use as models following these steps below. Try to use about three student essays so that they see as many ways as possible to remove them.
1--Circle every you used in the essay.
2--Going sentence by sentence, attempt to remove you.
3--Remove you by reorganizing the sentence.
4--Remove you by simply deleting the word (this easy fix does not happen often unfortunately).
5--Remove you by asking, "Who is you?"
6--Replace the you with the answer.
These two questions need to be taken one at a time, or the kids will get overwhelmed with the level of revising that will have to be completed and just quit.
1--Circle every time it is used in the paper.
2--Going sentence by sentence, read and look for the antecedent for it.
3--If the antecedent is THERE, move on because the use of that it will be okay.
4--If the antecedent is NOT THERE, ask the question, "What is it?"
5--Replace it with the answer to your question, and move on to the next.
Now for getting rid of you--you see what I did there. Often times, kids can not get their ideas down on paper without using you. When rough drafting, LET THEM! The purpose of the rough draft is to dump the ideas, examples, and/or evidence from the outline into paragraph form. If the kids start trying to write that rough draft without using you, they will get bogged down in the quagmire of diction and never escape.
To model how to revise to discard you, ask for student rough drafts to use as models following these steps below. Try to use about three student essays so that they see as many ways as possible to remove them.
1--Circle every you used in the essay.
2--Going sentence by sentence, attempt to remove you.
3--Remove you by reorganizing the sentence.
4--Remove you by simply deleting the word (this easy fix does not happen often unfortunately).
5--Remove you by asking, "Who is you?"
6--Replace the you with the answer.